Upstairs in my room there is a plastic bin on my dresser filled with money. Coins found from around the house, dollars earned from chores, and all being saved for Disneyland. I would never know if there was any money taken from it, and in fact, there has been some money missing.
The other day Marcus, who just loves his teacher made her a beautiful card. It was filled with "letters" stickers and love. A modern-day love note really. That day he gave it to his teacher and apparently she loved it. After school when I came to pick him up I overheard him talking to his teacher about what she could do with her money. He said, "you can buy some goodies or whatever you want."
I asked Mrs. Nobriga, if she got her note and what was in it. She told me she loved it and that he had put a nickle in it. I thought it was so cute and thoughtful.
The next day, he made her another note. I told him that he didn't need to make her a note everyday even though she loves them and he promised it would be the last one. The next week Mrs. Nobriga asked me if I had gotten the dollar. What dollar? Did Marcus find a dollar at school? She said, no and said that her last note had a dollar in it. He wanted her to come to Disneyland with us and so he gave her a dollar from our Disneyland fund.
It really is sweet and he was extremely embarrassed. Apparently he gave her the dollar and when she gave it back, he snuck it back into the jar in my room. We went the whole weekend without talking about it. She giving it back must have been such a terrible feeling for him. Did he think she didn't love him back? Is that why he put the dollar away without telling me?
This whole thing had me a little worried that Marcus was associating LOVE with money. Yes, Marcus is a words of affirmation kind of kid so obviously he loves his teacher, but it was still unsettling. What was I showing as love to my child? This experience was cute but also eye-opening. It gave me a chance to reflect on what Love Language I speak to others. If you haven't had the chance to read the 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman, it is a must-read. It will change your perspective on love.
Anyway, later that night he and I had a heart-to-heart. When I brought it up he started to cry. He was really embarrassed and I just wanted to make sure he understood that showing love didn't have to mean giving money to others. Together we brainstormed different ways to show love, like, teaching someone how to swim or finding their dog. :)
you are so thoughtful and kind. You are already associating and understanding love and relationships. I wish I could keep you innocent forever and never let you get hurt or grow up. I hope I show you love in all the ways that you need it. In all the ways that touches your heart and speaks your love language. Keep being who you are!
I Love you,